is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
