you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's shark week go big or go home
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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