There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well I just put wine in my tea
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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