Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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