I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
