Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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