My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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