we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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