never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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