This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
