you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
