Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
