no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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