apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
