idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
