i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
