So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm at about main and main street
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Randomize
