Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
