Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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