i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
