I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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