Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
