dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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