So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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