Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Congratulations! We have a period
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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