Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
