Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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