So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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