Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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