he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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