I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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