i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
