Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
