you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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