I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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