I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
