You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
