I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Its about making memories worth repressing
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize