this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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