Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize