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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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