He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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