if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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