so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
