It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize