Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
