It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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