omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
