You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
