You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
