Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
