That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Nobody cheats on THIS.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize