maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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