so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
