Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
