So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
