You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
