why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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