she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
