I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
