i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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