Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
ok first of all what the fuck
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
