why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
