You're my little dorito
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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