so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
